Legacy of a Dream
by songstress42
Summary: What if Jack had grabbed Daniel instead of Teal'c in the white room? What if Machello's goa'uld killer never left Daniel? SD
1. Chapter 1

_Prologue_

_The whiteness glared at them as the three, team members stepped into the padded room. It was easy to spot their friend against the fierce brightness radiation from the walls. Daniel was sitting cross-legged against the far wall, his head in his hands. He reacted to the sound of them entering before he looked up at them. When he did, the confusion contorting his features did not fade, but seemed to deepen as his near-sighted eyes tried to focus on the forms to far away for them to see._

"_Jack?" he called out in a small, hesitant voice, void of the certainty and underlying tones of condescension the usually coloured his voice._

_Jack's throat tightened at the fear he saw in those blue eyes. He didn't answer. It didn't matter, Carter answered for him. Good old Carter, always there to pick up where he left off._

"_It's us, Daniel." She said, fear mottling her voice as well, "Can't you see us?"_

"_I was just making sure you weren't figments of my … mind." His desolation scared Sam, "They took away my glasses in case I broke the lenses and, uh, tried to, uh, hurt myself."_

_A sharp stab of pain flared through Jack as thoughts of just how many ways Daniel could hurt himself with the lenses of his glasses appeared in his mind's eye. He was sacred so he retreated to his only line of defense. Sarcastic humor._

"_Are they treating you okay?"_

"_Yeah." He whispered. _

'_Good, he's tagging along.' Jack thought, 'That's my Daniel'_

_Then Daniel's face screwed up as tears welled up and Jack's insides turned to ice again._

"_I'm sorry." Daniel said a little more lucidly after semi-successfully getting the tears under control._

"_For what?" Jack asked, dreading the response._

"_For being such a head case." Daniel replied, unshed tears evident in his voice._

_Sam's stomach clenched as half crazed giggles escaped his throat, tears of her own now threatening to come forth._

"_It's not your fault Daniel."_

_The giggling died down at her words, though he didn't look up._

"_Colonel O'Neill believes it has something to do with the Linvris." Teal'c said, his normally stoic tones dampened by sadness and grief._

"_You remember in that chamber you said you felt something brush by you?" Jack added, wanting desperately to lighten the situation, to turn away from the reality of his condition and just have Daniel back._

"_Yes…. It was them." He replied, the certainty in his voice only half of what was normally there, fueling the words, "I know you don't believe me but I felt them."_

_Then something changed. Slowly. Daniel's demeanor shifted and he seemed to sit up straighter. Sam recognized the look in his eyes. He was figuring something out._

"_They heard me."_

_He moved suddenly, scampering across the room on all fours and jamming himself in the corner, hiding behind a white, padded pillar._

"_They're coming." He said and Sam frowned in annoyance. He couldn't even think straight what with all the drugs they'd pumped into his system. He wasn't even there anymore._

"_They're coming."_

"_Only your friends are here Daniel Jackson."_

_A long acquaintance with the impassive jaffa was the only thing that allowed Sam and Jack to detect the desperation and pain in Teal'c voice._

"_They're coming. I hear footsteps." He seemed to be listening intently. Sam had no doubt in her mind that what he was hearing was real. In his head._

"_Footsteps."_

"_Daniel, there are no footsteps." Jack was getting angry. Angry with Daniel for losing it like this, angry with Mackenzie for making that damned diagnosis, Angry at Janet for going along so willingly with it. Angry at the linvris that Daniel so adamantly believe were alive. And angry at the entire cosmos for doing this to the one person who didn't deserve it, "Stay with us." For god's sake please._

_Daniel screwed up his face and rubbing his eyes into the palms of his hands. As if desperately trying to keep a hold on the last scrap of sanity he had left._

"_Footsteps!" came the muffled cry from beneath the falling rubble of their crumbling archeologist._

_Sam, Teal'c and jack could do nothing but stare in sad silence at the shell of that man they knew huddling in a corner, cowering against imaginary sounds._

_Daniel's hands moved to his ears desperately trying to block out the sounds that were getting closer and closer every second. But they continued on like a mantra echoing inside his very mind._

_Suddenly he looked up, his watery blue eyes staring at the empty space between Sam and Teal'c._

_Then he began to laugh._

_It cut through Sam like a knife. Never in all her adventures through the gate he she ever encountered something that frightened her as much as the maniacal laugh that escaped her best friend._

_Slowly Daniel's hand snaked out and pointed unsteadily to the spot he was staring at._

"_I told you." He said with such certainty that Jack felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, "That's one of them. He's right there."_

"_There is no one at my side, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said quietly and for the first time since before he became first prime of Apophis, he was at a loss of what to do. This was no enemy that could be analyzed and defeated with strength or numbers. There was no miracle cure, no drug that would rid Daniel Jackson's mind of the horrors that now plagued it. There was literally nothing any one of them could do and it made him feel something he had not felt in a very long time. Desperation._

"_Yes, there is." _

_He sounded now so convinced that Jack thought it wise to leave him be. There was nothing could be done now. Their teammate was well and truly gone._

"_Wanna get the aides?" he said quietly to Carter as Daniel began laughing again._

_Sam nodded and turned quickly to knock on the door. Sparing one last glance at her lost friend._

_Jack saw it happen a split second before Daniel lunged. Teal'c moved to stop Daniel from reaching Sam at the door, but Jack got there first, catching the man and holding him as he struggled on unsteady feet and finally gave in to the strong arms holding him._

_Sam was momentarily stunned but managed to get out of the orderlies' way as they hurried into the room two large men grabbed Daniel roughly off Jack and he was tempted to tell them to go easy on him. Then Daniel started screaming at the top of his lungs and a female nurse came at him with a particularly large needle._

"_I'm not crazy! They're real! I can see them, they're real! there real."_

_Mackenzie appeared beside Teal'c as Daniel ranted on._

"_Okay, let's raise the dose. 5mls at four hour intervals."_

_As the drugs began to take over, SG-1 was ushered out of the room; Daniel's yells fading to nothing and as the door slammed shut, Sam heard something._

_"Why don't you believe me?"_

_I'm sorry Daniel. Of God, I'm sorry._


	2. Chapter 2

_Three Years Later_

Doctor Carl Peterson (P.H.D.) nodded to his coworker Doctor Zoë Gregars (P.H.D) as he entered the small research lab at Area 51 and sat down, pulling the folders containing that days agenda towards him.

"So, what have we got today?" the middle aged Brit asked, the strong accent pronounced as he flipped through the mountain of files.

"The usual," Zoë replied, her own speech hinting at the tiniest remnant of her breeding in the Deep South. She straightened her own Everest of paper, "some ancient writings, and a couple of scrolls with what looks like ancient Sumerian on them," she paused, "or possibly Babylonian. Oh and Colonel Marsden wants this looked at this. ASAP."

She dug through many piles of paper and came up with a small stone object that looked very familiar to Carl. She passed it to him and he frowned as he brought it close to his face.

"Isn't this a Goa'uld journal, tablet device?" he asked, confused. He'd translated hundreds of them. How had this one gotten to the top of anyone's list?

"Yes." She said, sharing his indignation, "But apparently it's been sitting around for quite a while. I think the Colonel just wants to get rid of it. In fact, that's mostly what we're doing today."

"Spring cleaning?"

"Yup."

Carl sighed. It was going to be a long, boring day.

"Oh well, may as well get on it."

He set down the device in front of him and Zoë handed him the appropriate paperwork.

"Hullo, this must have been here a while."

"Why?" asked Zoë.

"These preliminary notes and translations. They were done be Doctor Daniel Jackson."

Zoë looked at him, searching for more information. She didn't recognize the name. Carl caught her nonplussed expression.

"Oh, of course you wouldn't know his work. You've only been here a year or so." He looked back at the papers, "He was a brilliant man though, and he made my job so easy."

Zoë silently urged him to continue.

"Every piece to translating work that came to me, passed through him, or someone in his depeartment whose work he always oversaw. And since he was a certified genius there was always solid groundwork on everything that was sent to me. I always wished I could meet him one day."

Carl was silent for a moment before Zoë spoke.

"What happened to him? Did he die?"

"No, lost his mind poor fellow. Schizophrenia. Almost three years ago now.

"Oh god." Zoë said with a quiet gasp, "Do they have any idea what caused it?"

"Actually it was a complete mystery. Still is. Came right out of the blue. At first they believed that it had something to do with travel through the Stargate. They even shut it down for three months but when no one else showed symptoms they started it back up again."

"And Doctor Jackson?"

"Sent him to an institution. I suppose he's still there. Pity. He was young too, I hear. Not even thirty. You know he himself was the one who opened the 'Gate?"

Zoë's eyes widened.

"He's the guy who figured out in two weeks what a team of scientists couldn't in two years. And without ever seeing it?"

Carl nodded.

"Well of course I've heard of him. Just didn't know his name. Wow. Poor guy."

They sat in mournful silence for a few minutes before they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Doctor Peter Collins, a short, rotund man from the Anthropology department burst into the room, a sandwich in one hand and a file stuffed full of papers under the other. His tweed jacket was buttoned over his inflated gut and his bowtie sagged underneath two chins.

"Morning all!"

His jaunty tone died as he caught that somber mood of the room.

"Something wrong?" he asked in a considerably quieter tone.

"We were just discussing Doctor Daniel Jackson. We have some work hear that was studied by him."

"Ah yes. Doctor Jackson. Brilliant fellow. Knew him, actually, before this whole Stargate fiasco."

Zoë and Carl looked up, intrigued.

"I was at one of the last lectures he ever gave." He said, sitting down and unloading his burdens, "Right before being kicked out of academia."

"Kicked out of academia?" Carl said, "For what?"

"For putting forth the idea that aliens built that pyramids as landing pads for their giant spaceships. Well, actually that's not quite right. As I recall, he merely put forth the idea that the lack of written language on the inside of the pyramids suggested that they were much older that we had previously believed them to be. But seeds were planted and his reputation spread, complete with the belief of UFO's and little green men. I tell you sometimes the academic world can be no better that a high school cafeteria. Then he goes and falls off the face of the earth for a year and well…" Peter paused to take a swig of Carl's coffee, "Anyway, it's all rather arbitrary seeing as how he was right in the first place, aliens and all. Weird guy though."

"I still think it's awful what happened to him. And so suddenly too." Zoë said.

"Well, I must say he had it coming. After all, his grandfather was old Nicholas Ballard who spent a good part of his life in an asylum." Peter countered.

"Wasn't he proven sane?" Carl asked, old gossip coming back to him, "Something about a skull or something?"

"Yes, well," Peter said calling an abrupt halt to the conversation, "they're all a bit nuts over there at the SGC aren't they."

Zoë and Carl shrugged, returning to their work. Peter glanced at the tabled report.

"Hey."

Zoë and Carl looked up as Peter pulled the document towards him.

"What?" They asked in unison.

"This date. This was right before he was committed," the atmosphere in the room stiffened, "This was his last project."

They sat still for a moment, staring at the device and its corresponding paperwork in a vague atmosphere of awe before turning back to their respective projects.

"Interesting." Carl murmured, picking up the device.

He scanned the writing, translating every fifth word as he went, trying to get a gist of what was written there. When he was done, his gaze dropped from the tablet and scanned the table until he saw what he was looking for.

The others didn't notice as he picked up the flat, oval stone and waved it slowly across the face of the device.

They did notice however, the frightened shout that followed.

"What-" began Zoë as Carl jumped up from his chair and moved to the far wall, but the rest of her speech was cut short by the answer.

Several tiny worm-like creatures were streaming from the device (Zoë counted ten), and they were moving fast towards them. Peter, who was closest to the door called to the two airmen who were guarding outside and they rushed in brandishing guns. Carl was backed firmly against the wall, two of the little critters skimming towards them, the third having diverted its path to join another in pursuit of the fat anthropologist. The two airmen had four between them and the last two were headed straight for Zoë.

She looked up and her eyes met Carl's as simultaneously the bugs burrowed their way effortlessly through their clothing and under their skin.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam pulled smoothly into the parking lot, moving the gearshift into neutral and exiting, closing and locking the door behind her.

The building was large, square, made of brick, and nothing special. In fact it was frightfully ugly as so many of those kinds of buildings were, but what could she do about it? The lettering above the door read: Brightside Psychiatric Hospital.

Entering through the automatic doors, Sam walked to the reception desk and greeted the nurse sitting there.

"Morning Judy."

The young woman with pixie cut brown hair looked up and smiled.

"Morning Sam." She replied, handing Sam the visitors log book and a pass, "How have you been?"

"Fine." Sam replied, filling out her name and information, "you?"

"Fine."

"And," Sam began, handing the book and pen back and trying not to let her voice falter, "How is…he?"

Judy was quiet for a moment.

"The same," she paused before continuing, "he had an…episode, last night at dinner."

Sam sighed.

"What?"

"The usual. Threw his food. And some chairs."

Sam closed her eyes and nodded, ducking her head.

"He had to be sedated and put into one of the isolation rooms."

Sam's lip trembled as she fought not to let her emotions get the better of her. _The isolations rooms. The white rooms._ _Where all of this started._

"He's getting worse isn't he." She whispered, swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat.

"He's stopped responding to the medication." Judy corrected, her voice professional but still sad. Most of the female staff was rather fond of Daniel.

Sam nodded her understanding and smiled a good bye to Judy who nodded and returned to her paperwork. Sam set off down the now familiar hallways and stopped at a door that looked just like all the others. Room 109. Daniel's room.

She opened the door, stepped over the threshold and halted just inside the doorway.

Daniel sat with his back to her in a wheelchair rolled up to the window. Patty Clark, another nurse Sam was on first name basis with, crouched in front of him, adjusting the robe he wore over his plain white scrubs. She looked up, caught Sam's eye, and smiled before turning her gaze back to Daniel.

"Daniel honey." She said in a soft, calm voice, "Sam's here. She's come to visit you isn't that nice?" Daniel must have smiled or something because Patty's face broke into a grin and she began rubbing the leg her hand rested on.

"I'm just going to pop out into the hallway and have a quick word with her. Then you can see her all right? Sweetie?"

She looked up at Daniel patiently for a few seconds, obviously waiting for some sign from Daniel that he had heard her. After a moment Sam saw Daniel nod slowly and Patty smiled again and stood, exiting the room and shutting the door softly after Sam.

"Judy told me he had an episode last night."

Patty looked at her solemnly and nodded.

"He was just as bad this morning. Refused to take his meds. We were forced to inject intravenously."

Sam felt sick. She couldn't help but remember how Daniel fought when the orderlies had grabbed him and stuck him with needles three years ago. In the white room.

"Dr. Mackenzie upped dose this morning too." Patty added.

"How lucid is he?"

Patty paused.

"He _might_ recognize you."

Daniel was sitting in exactly the same position he was in when she'd left. Walking around, She knelt down beside him but he did not acknowledge her presence, although whether it was because he was ignoring her or because he had not idea she was even there, she did not know.

His eyes were watery and bloodshot, his face a sickly shade of grey, his hair stood out dark against his pale skin, and his expression was one of lax concentration. He seemed to stare out of the window without really seeing anything. Even the vibrant blue of his eyes seemed to have some how faded, as if the very atmosphere of this godforsaken hospital was sucking the life out him. Sam sighed again and took Daniel's hand pulling up a chair so that she was level with him.

"Hey Daniel." She said softly.

It seemed to take for ages for Daniel to look up and over at her. His expression was unreadable, so uncharacteristic of the way her friend used to be. She remembered a time when she could read her friend like and open book. _Just one more thing the illness stole_ she thought bitterly.

"I heard you had some trouble last night. As well as this morning."

He was silent. Just staring at her with those empty, lifeless eyes. It was beginning to unnerve her.

"They came back." He whispered through what sounded like an extremely dry throat. Sam didn't bother asking who 'they' were. "They wanted me." Then he smiled his unnervingly maniacal smile and a bitter laugh escaped his throat, "But I wouldn't let them. Oh no. They'll never ever…" he tapered off, moving his gaze to the opposite wall and unconsciously fidgeting with his left hand, his body swaying backwards and forwards in the chair.

Sam felt remarkably pained as she always did by his paranoia but she forced her self not to flee from the room as fast as she could. Forced her self to stay and hold his hand as he laughed and cowered from foes that existed only within the confines of his irrevocably broken mind.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

An hour later Sam got into her car, fighting tears that were threatening to overwhelm her. She sat like that for a good twenty minutes, leaning her head against the steering wheel and wondering how much longer she could bear to see him like that and how much longer he would last.

Her phone, vibrating in the pocket of her jeans, jolted her from her thoughts.

"Carter."

"Major, I need to request your presence immediately. Something of the utmost importance has come to my attention." Hammond sounded more serious than usual. Sam immediately snapped into military mode.

"General. Yes, I'll be right there."

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

Sam was met in the briefing room not only by Teal'c and the Colonel, who she'd expected to be there, but Janet as well, who she did not expect to see. She began to wonder just what was going on.

They were all seated by the time Hammond entered, carrying several envelopes and seating himself in his usual chair.

"You're probably all wondering why I asked you here so I'll just get to the point. Early yesterday morning, three of research scientists and two airmen at Area-51, were attacked in one of the labs-"

"Attacked?" Jack cut him off and sitting up from his position of slouched boredom.

"Well, that's what they claim although the accuracy of their statements has had to be reevaluated."

"Why?" Sam asked curiously, interest just as strong as the colonels.

"Because they have all gone insane."

"All five of them?" it was Janet who spoke this time.

"Yes. Evidently there is security footage of the incident although I have not yet seen it myself. Apparently it shows them working as usual when all of a sudden they jump up in alarm and two guards run in before all five collapse at the same time. There is nothing on the tape to suggest there was an attacker, but when they came to, their stories were all the same and they described the attackers as being small, white translucent worm-like beings that appeared out of an old tablet they were studying and burrowed through there clothes and under their skin."

"Did the doctors find any trace of these worm things in any of the bodies?" Janet asked.

"No, there was no sign of anything being wrong until a few hours later when they all…"

"Started going nuts?" Hammond's answer was finished by Jack, "Sir with all due respect this story is fascinating, and a real head-scratcher but I was just wondering, what does this have to do with us?"

In answer, the general handed them each a folder with a write up of everything Hammond had just told them as well as several pictures. The first was of a stone tablet and a polished, oval object that seemed very familiar to Sam.

"The first picture is of the artifacts that they were examining at he time. Those are what the creatures came out of evidently. Do either of them seem familiar to anyone?"

"Those are the tablet and page turning devices found on PY3-948." Sam answered remembering.

"And which planet was that again?" Jack asked

Sam paused.

"The Linvris sir."

The room hushed. Everyone at the SGC avoided mentioning that mission. It was Daniel's last.

"Of course. How could I have forgotten?" Jack replied his voice uncharacteristically quiet and soft.

"Sir," Janet spoke up, "what exactly is wrong with these people. What were they showing symptoms of?"

"Well, that brings me to the next similarity. Roughly two hours after the incident all five of them began exhibiting symptoms identical to those of Doctor Jackson; Hebephrenic schizophrenia."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

I apologize for how short it is. I got to the last line and I had to stop it there. But I promise, promise, promise The next chapter will have Daniel angst galore. Thanks for putting up with my bad habit of not updating. I really hope that will change soon.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

The room was silent. Four people stared openmouthed at a fifth. No one knew what to say.

At long last Sam spoke up.

"Are you saying that Daniel–" She stopped, her throat constricting painfully as tears threatened an appearance, "that there is a chance that Daniel can be…can be cured?"

"I suppose if there is a way to get whatever is inside them out then yes." Janet answered slowly and softly.

Sam stared at her friend for a long drawn out moment, taking the time to digest the sudden influx of information she'd just received. When it came to receiving massive amounts of technical data at once and being completely unfazed, Sam was your girl. However, add the always-complicated element of emotion and suddenly she was as lost as a child in a supermarket. Breathing deeply in through her nose, out through her mouth, Sam spoke.

"Sir may I be excused from this briefing?"

"Yes major, you may."

Sam calmly stood and left the briefing room, striding through the halls with the dignity of an air force officer. She stalked through the maze of the underground military facility without destination. Hot, angry tears blurred her vision, but nevertheless, her feet brought her to safety. To her comfort place, her sanctuary: Daniel's office. Though he hadn't worked in it for nearly three years, Sam had resolutely fought to keep it just as it had been. It was as if a part of her didn't want to face the fact that she had lost her best friend, still believed that maybe he would come back to her someday. And with this new development, it looked like she might have been right. He could be cured! Three years later and they had just found that out.

As Sam sat on Daniel's couch in Daniel's office, clutching Daniel's pillow, she could not help but fear that even in the event that they managed to get whatever was in Daniel out, would he ever be the same? How much damage had the nightmare he'd been trapped in all these years really done? And could it be fixed? Would she ever get her Daniel back?

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

The doctor looked up as her friend and co-worker left the room, she would have to wait to see what effect the news would have on the Major. Everyone knew that Sam had been the most effected by Daniel's illness. She visited him the most often, had hurt for him the most often, hell, it had been she who had fought to have his office kept just the way it was and Janet was among the few to know that she spent a good amount of time in there, mourning for the loss of everything that had made Daniel the great man he was.

"Sir, what do you propose we do?"

Hammond sighed and brought out another sheet from the multitude he had in the file sitting on the table in front of him.

"The scientists from area-51 are being transferred to the mental health facility that Doctor Jackson was originally kept in, along with another page turning device also found on PY3-948 and some of their own scientists as well. Technically they've been ordered by homeland security to turn the case over to us, however they-"

"Want to make sure they've got one of their guys in here pretending to run the show?" for the second time during the meeting, Jack finished Hammond's sentence.

"Exactly. Doctor Frasier I want you and Major Carter to head up the research team. Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c, I also think it would be wise if you were to oversee the project."

"Standing around looking mean and stopping the slimy scientists from good ol' 51 from touching our cool toys? No problem sir." Jack smiled, but Janet was not fooled by his sarcastic facade. Right here right now, looking at him she saw all the pain he'd been feeling for his fallen friend just about ready to burst through the carefully fortified wall he'd built up inside himself.

Teal'c merely nodded in agreement, not needing to add anything more.

"Sir, I have a question." Janet sounded hesitant.

"Yes Doctor."

"Sir, what about Daniel?"

"I have already thought about that and I believe that under the circumstances, it would be prudent to have him near by. I have already sent a team to Brightside to retrieve Doctor Jackson."

A thoughtful silence descended over the briefing room, broken momentarily by Jack who said softly, as if to himself:

"Danny boy's coming home."


	5. Chapter 5

Wow, obviously my bad habits have not changed in the two years it's taken me to update this story.

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Sam, Jack, and Teal'c sat motionless in three extremely uncomfortable chairs in the hallway outside of the infirmary. It had been several hours since Daniel had been brought in but Janet had not yet let them see him, saying they had too many tests to run and they would be better off going for a meal in the mess hall and then coming back when everything was taken care of. They'd gone to the mess hall like the good little soldiers they were but had found themselves unable to eat anything and so had returned to the medical bay to await news of their former teammate.

Three hours later and still nothing.

Sam could sense rather than see the colonel's knee bouncing up and down with nervous energy. She secretly applauded him for being able to sit still this long. It was a testament to how excited and at the same time scared to death he was about Daniel's fate.

Sam knew because that was how she felt. Only her feelings were manifesting internally.

On the outside she was expressionless. Sitting at attention like the perfect Air Force Officer when inside she was praying to all the real or fake gods they'd ever encountered to help discover what was mentally torturing her best friend.

Teal'c looked if possible even more statue like that Sam, though she was sure he was internalizing just as many feelings as she was.

Their silent vigil was interrupted a second later by a bloodcurdling scream followed by a thunderous crash of what sounded like a tray full of medical supplies hitting the concrete floor. Jumping to their feet, the three SG-1 members forced their way past the airman who had been assigned to guard the door to the infirmary, and into the cold, uninviting room.

A crowed had formed in the center of the room consisting of several nurses, orderlies and Janet who were all trying desperately to calm frantic Daniel who was at the center of it all. He let out another scream as he continued his struggle, this one even louder without the barrier of a solid concrete wall to muffle the sound. Sam flinched and felt the Colonel do the same beside her.

Three orderlies and three nurses struggled to keep one mentally unsound, former archeologist under control but somehow Daniel managed to break free and skittered to the back corner behind several heavy medical instruments. They could hear him whispering and occasionally hitting the wall as his agitation increased. Janet started towards him and the three orderlies began to follow before Sam stepped in to intervene.

"Whoa, whoa, Janet! Just hold on, he can't get out so let's just take a second. Now, what happened?"

Janet sighed and motioned for her workers to relax. Then she looked up at her friend.

"We had to do several blood and urine tests and he couldn't have any drugs in his system so he's been getting more and more agitated, and when it finally came to re-administering his medication he went ballistic. Sam, we have to get this into him soon." She held up the giant needle full of clear liquid that she held in her right hand, "He hasn't been this coherent in sixteen months. His condition is worsening and his brain chemistry levels are completely out of whack."

Sam stood for a minute just feeling the awfulness of the situation and then she sighed in defeat.

"All right. Let see if I can calm him down enough to get him out of there."

Jack stepped forward.

"Carter, are you sure you're the right person for this-"

"With all due respect Colonel, Shut it!" Sam said, whipping around and pinning him to the spot with a gaze of suppressed hurt, anger, and rage for the situation at hand. "I have gone to see Daniel faithfully every week for three goddamned years which is far more than you can boast to. I have sat by helpless as he cried and cowered away from things I could not protect him from. I have the right to at least try to help him now and don't you dare try and take that away from me!"

Sam was surprised to feel tears on her cheeks and even more surprised that she didn't care that her commanding officer and the entire medical staff were witness to it.

Jack backed off and she turned to the dark corner into which Daniel had disappeared.

It was full of little used medical supplies; big machines that afforded dozens of different hiding spots. Sam approached cautiously, using all her stealth training in an attempt to calm the agitated Daniel. It was like approaching an abused animal that continued to cower in the corner.

Eventually she made it to the point where she could begin to see Daniel. He was hunched up against the wall, sandwiched into the corner between the concrete and some big monstrous machine of some kind. He was whimpering and whispering and rocking and clawing at the wall. She could see faint streaks of dark wetness as his fingers were rubbed raw by the constant clawing at the concrete wall.

"Daniel?"

He did not hear her. She tried again,

"Daniel?"

He shot a furtive glance sideways, let out a particularly mournful whimper and slammed his head against the wall. Sam held her hands out in a pacifying gesture.

"Daniel, it's me. Daniel, do you recognize me?"

He squealed a little and scrambled his feet backwards as if wanting to sink into the wall itself but there was nowhere else for him to go. So she continued her achingly slow pace forwards.

"Daniel, I'm not going to hurt you."

She was five feet away from him now. He chanced a glance sideways and caught her gaze. Slowly he turned his head so he was looking up at her. She crouched down on all fours so she was level with him and moved a foot closer.

"Daniel?"

He stopped moving. He stopped whimpering. He simply stared at her from those big soulful eyes. Sam almost gasped from the level of pain she could see in them but she did not move. She waited for him, He looked at her like child looks at a thing he does not understand, and then, miraculously he moved his hand as if to reach out to her and whispered,

"Sam?"

A shock went through her as her name passed almost too quietly from his lips. She moved forward again and reached out to him. Her hand met his cheek and he latched on to her arm like a lifeline.

"Yeah Daniel. It's Sam."

She pulled him into her embrace and he wrapped his arms around her so tightly she almost had trouble breathing. But it did not matter because Daniel was here in her arms, silently crying as he whispered her name to himself.

She held him and rocked him back and forth as she would a child.

"Daniel." She said after a few minutes had passed, "Janet's waiting. She needs to give you some medicine to make you better."

His response was muffled by the fact that his face was cradled on her chest but she could still hear it.

"Won't make me better. Never … never better. Won't take them away. They never go away. Always there, always around me, near me. Beside. Inside. Never…"

"Daniel, listen to me." She gently maneuvered him so she was holding his shoulders with both hands and staring him in the eyes, or at least trying to. His gaze kept shifting around, as if following the movements of invisible things. "We think we're close to figuring out what caused this. That is why you're here. We think we can make you better."

Daniel screwed up his face as though fighting tears.

"Never… never better." He raved, shaking his head. His hands came up to tangle in the hair on the sides of his head. "Always there, waiting in the shadows. Always." He gasped and jerked sideways, his gazed locked on nothing she could see. His breathing began to shallow and he came dangerously close to hyperventilating.

Sam held him fast.

"Daniel, look at me. Look at me." She repeated cupping his cheek and turning his face to hers. "There is nothing there." His eyes were wide with fright and his chin quivered with the effort of holding back tears. "There is nothing there, I swear. It's all in your mind."

Daniel's breath was quickening his gaze was locked with hers. Neither moved as Daniel's breathing reached a frightening rate.

"Janet!" Sam Screamed behind her as Daniel cowered against her, using her as a shield from the horrors his mind continued to bombard him with.

The petit doctor came running and as soon as she saw that Sam had a good grip on Daniel, lifted up the sleeve of his white scrub top and injected the sorely needed drugs into his system. Sam came close to retching when she saw the bruises and tract marks from too many forced injections in her friend's upper arm.

Between the two of them they managed to get the now quiescent Daniel up and over to the nearest bed. Once he was settled Sam fled to Janet's office and allowed the tears she's been holding back to burst out of her like floodwaters bursting a dam.

She felt Janet's soft hands on her back and shoulders and she pulled her friend into a tight embrace.

"Please Janet, please make him better."


	6. Chapter 6

_The house was dark and silent as the grave and the clinking of her keys sounded almost deafening compared to the quiet that assaulted her senses. She could feel something was wrong. The house was too dark, too quiet, too still. The groceries were left forgotten by the door as she found herself drawn upstairs. The ice cream would melt leaving a sticky mess over the Mexican ceramic tile floor. It would not matter. Ascending the stairs she listened for any sound that would betray the presence of another person in the house, as there should be. All she heard was more silence. _

_The bathroom door was ajar casting a sliver of incandescent light into the darkened hallway. The sound of creaking hinges desperate for oil would be forever embedded in her mind as the last sound she heard before she was faced with the sight of crimson blood pooling out from under…_

Sam woke suddenly, lifting her head sharply from where it had been resting on her folded arms. A sheet of paper from the report she had been looking at prior to her nap came with her, stuck ungracefully to the side of her face by the drool that had crept from her open mouth during her slumber. She ripped the page away and rubbed at her face. Yawning and stretching she stood from her seat at the lab table to bring some blood flow back to her lower extremities. She yawned again and drained her mug of what was left of the lukewarm coffee within. Rubbing at her tired, blood-shot eyes, she refocused on the medical report in front of her. Two weeks. Two weeks and still no answers. Even when they'd transferred in the infected scientists and soldiers from Area-51, they had made no headway. She yawned once more and slumped down, resting her head on her folded arms. She hadn't been home in four days. Or was it five? The hours had begun to blur together as they continued to hit dead end after dead end. Tears of exhaustion and failure leaked out of her eyes and onto the useless piece of paper.

The pounding of running feet pulled her from her thoughts. Moving to the door she opened it and peered into the hallway. A troop of airmen ran past shouting orders into radios and carrying firearms at the ready. Stepping out of her lab Sam went to investigate.

"Report." She said, slipping seamlessly into her role as a senior officer on the base.

The group of soldiers stopped and saluted before replying.

"Major, One of the scientists form Area-51 has escaped the infirmery and was spotted on security cameras heading this way. She is believed to be armed."

Sam nodded her understanding and ducked back inside her office to receive her berretta side arm.

"Lead on." She ordered, glad for something to do. Glad for something to take her mind off of the hopelessness of the whole situation.

* * *

The storage room was dark. Lit only by the ambient light spilling in from the corridor, which was dimly lit itself. Using hand signals so as not to alert the distressed scientist they were searching for, Sam motioned the men to fan out and investigate every darkened aisle. This was the fifth room they'd searched and the last one before a solid concrete dead end.

As Sam made her way silently through the dimly lit aisle, she heard a soft moan followed but rapidly accelerated breathing. Turning the corner she found herself faced with Dr. Gregars huddling in a corner with a knife pressed to her exposed wrist.

_Blood. Crimson blood pooling on the clean, white, tile floor._

Sam blinked and shook her head forcing her mind away from her nightmare and into the now.

She moved forward, slowly reaching for the weapon that was held in an increasingly lax grip as more and more blood seeped from the long slice in Zöe's forearm. It was only after Sam had the knife firmly in her grasp that she called out the rest of the search party to get a medical team down there as she attempted to slow the bleeding with her BDU jacket. The barely conscious scientist moaned and rubbed at her head with her good arm whimpering into the sleeves of her white scrubs. An airman Sam did not know rounded the corner and offered to help stop the bleeding. Sam nodded her thanks and stood moving slowly to the storeroom door as the medical team rushed by her. Reaching the exit she turned and vomited onto the concrete floor.

* * *

"She's lost a lot of blood. But you found her before she'd lost too much. Congratulations."

Sam nodded half-heartedly as she sipped the cup of water Janet had supplied. She was sitting in Janet's office; her friend sat on her desk opposite her.

"I just wish I hadn't needed to have been there. It reminded me too much of…"

She trailed off and rubbed her tired eyes. Janet rubbed a comforting hand on her friends back.

"I understand."

Sam cleared her throat and straightened in her chair.

"So Dr. Gregars will be fine."

Janet sighed.

"Well I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Dr. Gregars lost a lot of blood. We managed to transfuse enough to keep her stable but she is still severely anemic and we've run out of stock of her blood type."

Sam looked questioningly at the doctor.

"So why do you want to talk to me?

"Well you have the same blood type as her. I know you've been through a rough couple of weeks. We all have. And I wouldn't ask you unless it was really important but her blood pressure is still too low and if we don't get it up soon well…" She didn't need to finish the statement.

Sam looked up at her friend and smiled.

"Janet, after hitting dead end after dead end for the past two weeks, any chance to actually help someone is appreciated. It's the least I can do."

As she sat down beside the female scientist, and Janet prepped her arm for the transfusion needle, Sam glanced towards Daniel where he lay in a fetal position on his bed. His gaze was vacant due to the large amount of medication he had been prescribed, but she could still see him twitching and bunching the covers in his hands agitatedly. Something inside Sam pained her as she saw his lips moving in speech to things that did not exist. She watched as his hand came up to rub at his forehead, his eyes pushed tightly together as though he were in pain. Sam looked away, praying for a cure for her friend's illness.

Shortly, her prayers were answered.

The first drops of blood had only just entered her bloodstream when Zöe's unconscious form began to twitch. Moaning as if experiencing a nightmare, the scientist's forehead wrinkled, her body shivered once, and before Sam's eyes two opaque gelatinous creatures slithered out of her right ear and lay still on the pillow.

For a moment Sam was too stunned to speak and then, the existence of the red call button inches from her hand gone from her mind, she screamed.

"JANET!"

Janet was pretty sure the entire base had heard Sam as she raced back into the infirmary. Her heart was racing and she was sure someone had died but when she saw nothing amiss besides the Air force Major who was currently staring open mouthed at a slightly awake Dr. Zöe, she moved quickly to her friend's side.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

Sam just pointed to Dr. Gregars' pillow.

* * *

Okay so I know that was a pretty awful cliffhanger to leave you guys with and I probably don't have the right to do it anyway considering my atrocious updating habits, but tough. Also, I am not a medical professional. All my medical knowledge comes from TV and Wikipedia so I apologize if any medical related info was wrong. I also apologize for how long it took me to write such a short chapter but it was so crucial to the plot that I wanted to make sure it was perfect.

Just so you know, it's the alerts and favorites and reviews that motivate me to keep writing (sloth is apparently my sin). I love you guys and I hoped you enjoyed it! TBC and DFTBA.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I did some research into what Hebephrenic schizophrenia actually is (thank you Wikipedia, however did I survive without you). It's more commonly know as disorganized schizophrenia and its symptoms include disorganized thinking and speech (speech patterns will seem unconnected and illogical), unpredictable and irrational behavior, and flat or inappropriate emotional responses (showing no emotion or smiling and laughing at things that are serious).

I have found this extremely hard to write but I hope I've at least been true to some of these criteria (I've mostly been able to get around it by having Daniel sedated most of the time).

Thank you all so much for being patient with me. I know I don't deserve such devoted readers.

Enjoy.

* * *

"So what you're saying is we're gonna trick the little mind slug that's been giving Daniel schizophrenia for the last three years by feeding it a protein marker left in Carter's bloodstream from when Jolinar died and was absorbed by her body?" Jack finished in silence and seemed to be looking for conformation.

Sam raised her eyebrows in mild astonishment.

"You know sir, that's actually pretty accurate nut-shelling."

Jack's mouth twitched in an inward smile and he sat a little straighter in his chair. "Really?" he said, sounding quite pleased with himself.

Everyone around the large conference table allowed themselves a little smirk before remembering the important and sober reason they were all there.

Sam cleared her throat and turned to General Hammond.

"Like Jack said sir, the organism seems to respond to the protein marker as a sort of…confirmation that the goua'uld it is meant to be killing is actually dead. Then, theoretically, it should leave Daniel."

"Theoretically." Hammond said catching on to the key word in her statement.

"Yes sir, theoretically…but it's all we've got."

Hammond nodded.

"Well, if it's our best bet, then I say go for it." Sam nodded thankfully, Hammond turned to Janet, "How soon will Doctor Jackson be ready?"

"Daniel still has a few hours to go before his system is free of any medication. If we remove the thing now, the drug that's still in his system could cause him further psychological damage. Dr Peterson from Area-51 should be ready in about a half hour I was going to try this on him then."

"Sounds good Dr. Frasier. Oh by the way, how is Dr. Gregars doing?"

Janet sighed.

"She's…alright. There haven't been any ill effects from the drugs, which gives me hope for Daniel. However, she described the experience as being the most frightened she's ever felt. She said it was like being trapped in a nightmare. Aware but unable to escape."

A hushed silence fell over the room as everyone there prayed that Daniel would emerge from this three year long nightmare mentally unscathed.

* * *

Sam sat idly by Daniel's bedside as he slept. His hand lay at the edge of the mattress and she reached for it, slipping her fingers around his palm and down to the thick white scar that ran down his wrist and disappeared up his sleeve.

"It wasn't your fault. You know that."

Sam jumped at the sound of Jack's voice and she sat up straighter in her chair to turn to him.

"I know." She said softly and thickly, flat out refusing the tears that begged to fall.

Jack came up beside her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. They both looked down on their sleeping teammate.

"I just hope he comes out of this in one piece." She whispered.

Jack squeezed her shoulder gently – Proving once and for all that he knew when to keep his mouth shut.

"Janet's going to give the area-51 doc his injection in a few minuets." He said and left her alone.

Daniel stirred and opened his eyes.

"Hey." Sam smiled at the slivers of blue she could see beneath thick eyelashes and heavy lids.

Daniel blinked his face emotionless as always and sat up slowly.

"Hi." He said quietly, looking furtively around, distrust in his eyes.

Sam moved the dinner tray around.

"Janet wants you to eat something." She said, pushing a plate of food toward him.

He pushed the plate off the tray and onto the floor with a resounding crash of breaking ceramic.

"It's poisoned." He said in a flat voice, eyes staring forward at nothing.

"It's not poi-"

"Yes it is."

Sam took in a deep breath.

"How are you feeling?"

He turned too look at her and nothing she saw in his endless blue depths reminded her of the friend she once knew.

"They're coming for me." He said matter-of-factly, as though he were commenting on the weather. His hands clenched and unclenched as he continued, "Always coming…" his eyes wandered "Sometimes I don't hear them in time and they…" he turned his gaze back to Sam's "They come for you in the night." He earnest now, his lips turned up in a maniacal parody of a smile showing too much teeth and not reaching his eyes, "You can't always see them or…" he trailed off and dissolved into a bout of laughter. Sam put hands over her mouth to keep from crying.

"Major Carter." Teal'c said, coming around from behind the curtain and stopping when he saw Daniel was awake. "Daniel Jackson. I am pleased to see you are awake."

Daniel continued his deranged laughter, showing no signs he had even heard Teal'c. Teal'c did not seem bothered.

He turned to Sam, "Major Carter. Doctor Frasier asked me to inform you that Doctor Peterson is ready."

"Thank you Teal'c." Sam said as Daniel's laughter died down. "Daniel, I will be right back I just have to see to something."

Daniel gave no indication he had heard anything. He brought his knees up to his chest and was rubbing his forehead against them, fingers tangling in his dark hair.

Sam walked to the other end of the infirmary, trying to hold herself together until they could get that damn mind leech out of his head. She rubbed her tired eyes and stopped at the foot of Carl Peterson's bed. He was quickly becoming agitated by the growing number of people surrounding his bed, and several orderlies were standing by to hold him down if necessary.

It became necessary when Janet pulled out the needle.

"NO!" He screamed and scrambled off the bed, flailing as the orderlies grabbed him and held him tightly, "NO!" he yelled again, kicking his legs and sending a tray of medical supplies crashing to the ground.

Without warning Daniel came bolting round from behind his curtain with an intent look on his face.

Teal'c, being the closest, grabbed him before he could do any damage and Daniel immediately calmed down, an odd look crossing his face.

Before their eyes, an iridescent, worm-like being slithered it's way out of his ear, down his arm in burrowed into Teal'c's exposed forearm.

Teal'c's grip on Daniel slackened and Sam heard him say one word before he collapsed to the floor.

"Machello."


	8. Chapter 8

I would just like to reiterate that all my medical knowledge comes from TV and Wikipedia. I can promise you guys a Daniel POV in the next chapter.

* * *

Sam moved to Daniel's prone form as Janet rushed to Teal'c's side and the orderlies maneuvered a now slightly less agitated Dr. Peterson back to his bed.

As Sam smoothed back Daniel's hair, she heard a moan coming from the half-conscious man.

"Ma'chello." He muttered, his eyes opening slightly, his gaze attempting to focus on something.

Sam brought her hands to either side on his face and forced his searching gaze to focus on hers.

"Daniel, look at me…look at…good." She smiled as blue met blue and said slowly, "Now, what about Ma'chello?"

Daniel just stared at her seeming not to understand what she had said.

Sam repeated her question.

"I heard him. He said…" Daniel began, brow furrowing in deep thought, clearly having trouble vocalizing his thoughts as the drug that was still coursing through his veins began to fog his mind, "He said 'you have delivered me to the vile goua'uld'."

Jack joined them.

"Hey Danny boy…how ya doin'?"

His voice sounded like a sad parody of his normally jovial tones.

Then he heard Daniel's soft reply.

"Oh you know. I'm lying on the floor because it's so darn comfy."

Jack could have cried at the light-hearted tone of his friend's retort.

Sam almost did.

Jack swallowed thickly and pulled Daniel into a hug.

"It's good to have you back Daniel."

The two Air Force officers pulled their teammate to his feet. When they stepped away however, Daniel went still for a moment, a look of mild confusion crossing his face. Then he let out a winded cry as though all the breath had been forcefully expelled from his lungs and then his torso caved inward, his arms following his body's motion as though someone had punched him in the gut. Daniel collapsed with a thud on the floor, his entire body convulsing in what was unquestionably a violent, grand mal seizure.

Sam fell to her knees beside him, unable to help his as he seized and shook on the ground in front of her, and cried out for Janet only to have her appear a second later.

"Roll him onto his side!" She ordered, coming to a crouch on the other side of Daniel's seizing body. Sam pulled Daniel towards her until his back was resting against her bended knees and held him by his shoulders as he continued to jerk and flail uncontrollably, her mind blocking out the sound of Janet yelling for a dose of something or other. Sam was close to tears.

"Do something!" She yelled unfairly at Janet who was crouched facing her and not moving.

"The drugs are on their way Sam." She answered with endless patience, recognizing her friends need to vent her frustration and fear, "but there are already drugs in his system and I don't want to give him too many more if I don't have to. If this goes on for more than two minutes then I will but for now, I just need you to keep holding him!"

Sam didn't think she could let go of Daniel right now if she tried.

Daniel's breaths were coming in slow gasps now as his body continued to contract and seize. Sam watched, helpless, as he gradually became more and more cyanotic with every labored breath, hints of blue tinting his lips and the sunken skin around his eyes as his airway became more and more restricted. Sam had read a little about grand mal seizures and knew that this was normal, but that did not stop it from being any less frightening as she held the shaking body to hers.

Finally after the longest two minutes of everyone's lives, Daniel's body stopped shaking and he began taking regular breaths, the gasping sounds dieing away as his body went still.

There was a palpable release of tension in the room as Daniel's now sleeping body was transferred to a bed. Sam and Jack joined Janet beside him as she tested first one eye and then the other with her usual penlight and checked his pulse.

"Janet?" Sam asked quietly, her friend raised her eyes, "You said if the thing left Daniel while he was still medicated it could cause further psychological damage."

Silence hung heavy in the air as the implication as that statement sunk in. Janet opened her mouth but did not answer immediately.

"Janet." Sam said again, more urgently this time, "Is Daniel going to be all right? Is this going to happen again?"

Janet looked down at the sleeping form of Daniel before looking back up.

"I don't really know." She said softly, the trembling in her voice betraying the fear that she was desperately trying to quell. "The organism was creating imbalances in Daniel's brain chemistry causing schizophrenia-like symptoms. The anti-psychotics were there to help balance them again but they were never as successful as we'd hoped, probably because Daniel was not _actually _schizophrenic. Now that the cause for his symptoms is gone, his brain is likely going to start to correct for the imbalances on it's own, in fact I'm pretty sure it began immediately considering the way he responded to your question Colonel O'Neil." She turned to Jack and Sam noticed the tears that were beginning to well up in her eyes, "but since there's already medication attempting to do that anyway, it's going to throw off his brain chemistry even more and I can't tell you how much of that is going to affect him in the long term. As far as side effects go, we really just have to wait and see. Most anti-psychotics have serious long-term effects, but those typically only appear after years and years of usage. Schizophrenia is a life long struggle. Comparatively, three years is a short time so I'm not really worried about any long-term side effects. What I am worried about is the likelihood of withdrawal."

Sam heard Jack knock something loud on a nearby table, cursing under his breath, but didn't take her eyes off Daniel.

"What can we expect?" She asked quietly, bringing a hand to his forehead and gently brushing a strand of hair away from his pale face.

"Pretty much the same as when he was addicted to the sarcophagus: nausea, vomiting, cold sweats, paranoia…seizures. There may also be some dyskinesia."

"What the hell is that?' Jack asked quietly.

"It's a disorder characterized by involuntary movements especially in the face, grimacing for example. It can also involve the limbs. It may be permanent, it may not be. Time will tell"

The bad vibes that had been feeding on the tension in the base over the last couple of weeks seemed to explode out of the colonel as he turned to address the doctor.

"Jeez Do,c can't you tell us anything helpful!"

The hurtful words hung in the air and Jack immediately regretted saying them. He was about to apologize when Janet spoke, quietly.

"I wish I could. I wish I could tell you that he'll be fine. That he'll come out of this intact and unscathed. But I can't. I can't tell you that there won't be any side effects because there might be. I can't tell you that he'll be sane, because this may have irrevocably changed the way his brain works." Her voice stumbled and Jack opened his mouth to interrupt her but Sam held out a hand for him to stop. Janet needed to get this off her chest. "I wish that I could tell you he's going to be alright, but I can't because nothing like this has ever happened before." Tears ran down her face leaving shining traces in their wake. "And if he isn't all right, it's going to be all – my – fault!"

Janet punctuated her last words with a resounding bang on the bedside table with her fist before collapsing into a hard plastic chair and dropping her face into her open palms, sobs wracking her small frame.

Sam moved around the bed to comfort her distressed friend while Jack stood back, completely at a loss for what to do in front of a crying woman.

Sam crouched down and pulled her friend into a tight hug until the Doctor released all the tension and guilt that Sam has seen building up in her since the beginning of this whole situation.

Janet sniffed, pulling back from the comforting embrace of her friend and wiped her eyes on the cuff of her medical coat.

"Thanks Sam." She said quietly.

Sam nodded and smiled, still rubbing soothing circles on her back with one hand.

"This isn't your fault you know." She said.

Janet shook her head.

"Maybe not entirely but I had a large part in it and I know I will never forgive myself for that part. And I know I will also never forgive myself if Daniel doesn't come out of this in one piece."

Sam looked over at the sleeping form in the bed next to them.

"Neither will I."

* * *

Once Janet had calmed down some more, She, Sam, and Jack joined Teal'c who was sitting on the next bed over having blood taken by a relatively new nurse whose hands were shaking under the forceful gaze of the former first prime.

"So what exactly happened Teal'c? 'Cause it all happened so fast I can hardly remember most of it." Jack asked, adding, "Like a car crash."

Teal'c frowned in thought at the metaphor before relaying his recollection of the event in his usual emotionless tone.

"I was standing by, alert and ready to offer my services should Doctor Peterson become to agitated when I heard Daniel Jackson coming towards me from behind, most likely in aid of Doctor Peterson. Being the closest to Daniel Jackson, I attempted to subdue him but when I came into contact, he froze and before my eyes the small organism that has presumably been the cause of Daniel Jackson's mental illness for the past three years emerged from his ear and burrowed into my forearm leaving no mark."

"And then he said he heard Ma'chello's voice." Sam added and relayed what Daniel had said.

"So the voice that Dr. Gregars said she heard was indeed that of Ma'chello." Janet said, confirming the conclusion they had come to earlier when Dr. Gregars awoke and said she heard a voice say 'thy goua'uld captor is dead".

"Yeah except Daniel didn't hear the same phrase that Dr. Gregars did. Daniel hear Ma'chello say 'you have delivered me to the vile goua'uld'" Sam said, thinking out loud and reveling in the feeling that all the pieces were finally coming together, "Which must mean that this…_thing_, whatever it is, can sense symbiotes and was simply using Daniel as an incubator of sorts when he inadvertently freed it from the tablet in the Linvris Chamber."

Everyone stood in heavy silence as they let this conclusion settle over them.

"So." Jack was the first to break the silence, "What's gonna happen to Teal'c?"

Janet looked at the alien who stared impassively back.

"Well, given what we already know about how long it took before Daniel started to show symptoms, I'd say in a few hours it'll start to kill Teal'c's symbiote."

Teal'c seemed to mull this over, "Then I would respectfully request you inject me with the antidote before that happens."

"We still don't know if it actually works Teal'c" Janet warned him.

Teal'c gave a small smile.

"Then I shall be, how do you say, your 'hamster'?"

Jack smiled too in spite of the situation.

"It's 'guinea-pig' Teal'c."

Teal'c nodded.

Sam brought her arms around her torso in an unconscious imitation of Daniel's signature self-hug.

Jack brought his hand to Teal'c's knee in a silent token of support.

Janet took a deep breath and injected the needle into Teal'c's upper arm.

Almost immediately the small organism that had inadvertently cause their friend and teammate three years of mental anguish slid out of Teal'c's ear and flopped unmoving onto his broad, muscular shoulder. Everyone stared at it in silence for a moment before jack picked the thing up, dropped it on the smooth laminate floor, and brought his heavy, military issue combat boot crashing down on it.


	9. Chapter 9

The pain came first, coursing through his veins like fire, pulling him unwilling from the comforts of unconsciousness. Nausea followed, starting deep in his belly and rising until he was sure he would lose the contents of his stomach soon and violently. He rolled onto his side without opening his eyes, not sure he could face any sort of light right now, curling in on himself and shivering. Chills wracked his body and cold sweat dampened his brow and hair.

He knew this feeling.

Screams echoed inside his head and his eyes shot open. He was in a darkened room filled with corrugated shelving and he had a gun in his shaking hands pointed at Jack who stood several feet from him palms up, voice calm.

"_Daniel, put the gun down."_

The gun shook in his hands as he pulled the trigger, the bullet ripping through Jack's torso as the force of it threw him violently backwards into the concrete wall. Daniel screamed as he watched Jack's body go slack.

* * *

Daniel's screams ripped into her thoughts as Sam entered the infirmary carrying a cup of coffee. The drink crashed to the floor and lay forgotten as Sam took off towards Daniel's curtained off bed and found him cowering behind his bedside table in the throws of what looked to be a fairly violent flashback.

Janet was at her side in a moment and Sam could see nurses with drugs standing by in the corner of her eye.

"I'm going to see if I can calm him down." Sam whispered to her friend and she felt Janet nod as she crept forward.

"Daniel?" She said in a calm and passive tone aware that this situation was becoming all too familiar.

Daniel had stopped screaming and was curled up in a fetal ball shaking and sweating and whimpering.

Sam reached out and stroked his arm lightly, establishing contact. When he didn't react adversely to this, she came forward and was thrilled when Daniel reached out to her and allowed her to pull him into a cradling hug, with Daniel's arms snaking around her waist and his head resting in her lap sobs wracking his body as she rubbed soothing circles in his back.

Sam became aware that Daniel was muttering something into her shirt as she rocked him. Stroking down through his hair to cup his cheek she leaned down and whispered, "Hey, what's wrong Daniel?"

He whimpered again and this time she heard it.

"I killed him, I killed him, I killed him, oh god he's dead. I shot him. I killed him."

"Hey, hey." She said, trying to catch his attention. "Killed who? Daniel, who did you kill?"

He clutched her sleeve and raised his head to look at her through red-rimmed eyes. His face was covered in a thin sheet of sweat and his gaze was unfocused.

"Jack. I killed him. We–we were in the storage room and I had a gun and oh god–" he cut off as his face screwed up in agony and he began to sob into her shirt once more.

"Hey," she said again, stroking a hand trough his hair and across his cheek, "You didn't kill Jack. Jack's not dead you're just having a hallucination. Everything's fine. Everything's just fine"

As Sam continued muttering soothing words to Daniel, Janet came into view with a concerned looking Jack and a less than passive looking Teal'c.

"Hey Daniel, look." She said pointing to the colonel who had come closer and knelt down, "It's Jack. See, he's not dead, he's right here."

Jack smiled, "Hey Danny-Boy, heard you had a nightmare or something."

Daniel blinked at Jack and then launched himself at the colonel, nearly knocking him off balance.

Jack laughed and patted Daniel's head.

"I thought I'd killed you." Daniel said, moving out of the embrace and getting unsteadily to his feet, "we were in the storage room and you were telling me to put down the gun and I shot you."

"You were probably experiencing a vivid hallucination." Janet explained as she helped Daniel back into bed and pulled out her pen light.

"What's happening Janet?" he pleaded, "I'm so confused. What's happening to me?"

"How much do you remember Daniel?" She asked, sitting sideways on the bed. Daniel closed his eyes and brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose in thought.

"I don't know. Everything's fuzzy. And most of it doesn't make sense." His voice trembled and his eyes squeezed shut even tighter, "It's all dark and there are whispers and movements in the shadows. I remember a white room."

"Do you remember the Linvris Daniel?"

Daniel opened his eyes and dropped his hand to his lap, furrowing his brow.

"The chamber with the dead hosts."

Janet nodded.

"They were after me. They wanted me for something. Everyone thought I was going crazy. You had me committed." Daniel looked around and saw guilt written on everyone's face. A cold knot of fear started in the pit of his stomach. His next words came out no louder than a whisper, "How long was I there?"

Janet looked down in shame.

"Three years."

Daniel stared, his face impassive.

"What happened?" he asked again.

Janet sighed.

* * *

When Janet finished, the infirmary was as silent as it ever got as everyone waited for Daniel. He sat in his bed; back propped against pillows, gaze lowered giving no outward signs to how he was feeling. Finally he broke the silence.

"I think I'd like to be alone for a while." He said in a small quiet voice. Janet nodded in understanding. Jack looked as though he was going to protest before thinking better of it and nodding too.

"Wait." Daniel said, reaching out a hand and catching Sam's in it, "will you stay?"

He looked at her with his big blue eyes and it struck her that this was the first time in three years that his gaze was clear and free from the haze of drugs. Still, the eyes she looked into were darkened with pain and hurt and she was terrified that it would never leave. Still she was determined to do whatever she could to help so she nodded.

Daniel moved over slightly and Sam slid onto the bed, resting her back against the pillows and allowing her friend to rest his head on her chest, wrapping her arms around his shaking frame and rubbing his arms soothingly.

Daniel sighed and closed his eyes.

"Everything's hazy." He whispered, Sam knew better than to respond, allowing him just to talk, "And there are things I remember that I think aren't real. And all of it is dark and cold and frightening." He paused to swallow and Sam heard him sniff, "But you're there too and somehow you make all it a little bit more bearable."

Sam felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

Daniel shuddered and took a shaky breath.

"I don't think I can. Not yet."

Sam nodded and continued to console her traumatized friend. She wished there was someway she could erase the last three years and make all his pain go away, but she contented herself with the knowledge that she would be there for Daniel whenever he needed her. When he was sad she would comfort him, when he was sick she would take care of him and when he was ready to talk about the hell he'd been living in she would be there to listen.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N I was listening to the song Ghost Town by First Aid Kit while writing this. If you want you can YouTube it. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and kind of sums up all the emotions I'm trying to convey. Also, listen to You're Not Coming Home Tonight. In fact, listen to their whole album because it's amazing.

* * *

The scrape of paper against paper sounded loud in the small room as Sam turned the page in her book, glanced at her sleeping friend, and kept reading. Daniel had been moved from the main infirmary to one of the private rooms five days ago and he was still suffering some ill effects. The hallucinations had tapered off but he was still having night terrors and would sometimes experience sleep paralysis upon waking. He was also experiencing dyskinesia in his right arm and hand, the repetitive movements making it hard for him to hold anything in his dominant hand. He flip-flopped severely between agitation and lethatrgy, moving restlessly around the small room and then just laying on his bed for hours, staring at the wall, the only movement, the involuntary spasms in his right arm. Sam was beginning to worry that the periods of dysphoria were the beginnings of depression and not just another side effect of the withdrawal. Janet said his brain chemistry was slowly returning to normal but Sam was concerned that the emotional damage of the past three years might be too great to undo.

As her eyes skimmed half-heartedly over the page in front of her, Sam heard Daniel's breathing quicken. Moving from the steady rhythms of sleep to the telltale sounds of anxiety. She looked over and saw him lying perfectly still on the bed, the perfect picture of a peaceful sleep, eyes closed, body curled facing her. But his breathing told her otherwise and she knew he was awake and fully aware; just unable to move.

Putting down her book, Sam got up from her chair and moved to sit beside him on the bed, running one hand in soothing circles on his back and brushing his hair away from his forehead with the other.

"Hey Daniel." She said softly, letting him know she was there, that he wasn't alone, "It's okay. It'll be over soon. I'm right here and everything's going to be all right."

It wasn't much, but there wasn't anything more she could do for him.

Soon enough his eyes opened and his lips turned upwards in a ghost of a smile.

"Thanks." He said softly, he didn't say much these days, but when he did it was always short and quiet, so unlike the way he used to be.

Sam smiled in response and kept running her fingers through his hair. Daniel closed his eyes and sighed enjoying the small token of affection.

After a few minutes, Sam gathered up the courage to ask what she had been wanting to since the first attack of sleep paralysis.

"What is it like?"

Daniel frowned and looked up at her.

"What's what like?" he asked.

Sam ducked her head and bit her lip, cursing her blunt approach.

"The sleep paralysis. You don't have to tell me if you don't want too but I just…" She trailed off.

Daniel stared at her with tired eyes.

"It's like…being paralyzed." He began, his tone weary, "Like I'm trapped inside my mind and no matter how hard I try I can't make myself do anything, say anything."

He was quiet for so long Sam assumed he was finished. But what could she say to that? Luckily Daniel spared her by continuing.

"When I was a child, after my parents died, I had this recurring nightmare. I'd be in the museum, and I'd watch as the chain broke and the cover stone fell and my parents were crushed beneath it. But no one else was there. So I'd run out into the street and it would be teeming with people. And I'd run into the crowd begging for help but they wouldn't hear me. They just kept walking and there were so many of them they'd walk into me and I'd fall to the ground crying. I'd keep yelling and screaming for someone to help, but no one listened. I'd grab people, pull their clothing and yell into their faces but they wouldn't respond. They'd just keep on walking and I'd wake up screaming. Often to the chagrin of whatever foster family I was living with. That's what it's like. It's like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs inside my head but no one can hear me. Except this time…I can't wake up."

Sam felt tears sliding down her cheeks as Daniel described his waking nightmares to her. She cupped his cheek and stroked his skin with the pad of her thumb, wishing she could make all of his pain and sadness just disappear.

But she couldn't so she settled on small words that didn't mean much because that was all she had to give.

"I'm sorry."

Daniel sat up in the bed and pulled her into his arms. Sam could feel the right one moving every so often against the small of her back.

"I know you want to fix me." He said, his voice muffled but close enough to her ear that she could hear every word, "You're a scientist and a soldier. I've seen you work on problems until you pass out." He pulled out of the embrace and looked into her eyes, "But this is a problem you can't fix and I know that has you frustrated."

Sam sniffed, embarrassed that her tears had not yet abated.

"Aren't I the one who's supposed to be comforting you?"

Daniel smiled again, still little, but it was two smiles in less than an hour and it was enough for a tiny seed of hope to open in Sam's chest.

"Sometimes I don't know how I'm going to get through the next moment, let alone the next day." He confessed, "Sometimes I can't remember what's happened and then the next it all comes rushing back and it's too much because everything's messy and confusing." His voice broke and he squeezed his eyes shut, "Everything's dark and scary and…uncertain." He opened his eyes again, the blue startling against the monochromatic room and the paleness of Daniel's skin, "but when you're around, it doesn't seem so bad. It seems like maybe I could get through the next moment. And right now that's better then nothing."

Daniel fell silent, his eyes closing, his forehead resting against Sam's as though exhausted from speaking.

Sam didn't say anything. She just sat with her friend in silence. It was enough.

* * *

"I have a surprise for you."

Daniel looked up from his book with a look of curiosity on his face. He had begun to improve in the few days since their last talk and his withdrawal symptoms had begun to abate. The physical ones at least. He was still having trouble with mood swings and more than once Janet had had to put him back on an IV because he refused to eat. But his attention span was improving, allowing him to pass the time reading. He had even begun to have conversations with people although talking still exhausted him and would sometimes be followed by long bouts of silence.

Today, Sam had suggested to Janet that it would be good for Daniel to get some fresh air and suggested a trip to the top of the mountain. Janet agreed wholeheartedly and Sam now entered Daniel's room holding up some of his old clothes for him to see.

"We're going on a little field trip."

…

Daniel breathed deeply as the cool air hit his face and ruffled his hair. Sam watched in delight as a smile played across his lips and his eyes seemed to light up at the sight of the blue sky. He let out a pleased sigh and glanced around, taking everything in.

"I can't remember the last time I was outside."

Sam Smiled wistfully. She could.

_They were sitting on her back porch watching the sky darken as the sun set. Daniel was looking at her from where he was curled in his chair. She looked over and smiled, glad he was doing so much better. Slowly he reached out a hand and traced his fingers lightly over her cheeks and forehead, staring intently with his vibrant eyes. He didn't say anything and neither did she. His fingers brushed over her lips and she felt a jolt of pleasure run through her body at the touch. She swallowed, but didn't react. Daniel was sick, she reminded herself, and she was in charge of his care. She couldn't act on those feelings no matter how much she may want to. So she continued to let Daniel trace her features in silence, content in the knowledge that he was here with her now._

Sam shook her head softly, preventing her mind from going any further. She was not going to think about any of _that_.

Instead, she took Daniel's hand and started off into the sparse forest that covered the mountain, breathing in the sweet air and feeling herself relax as she took in the natural beauty that surrounded her. Beside her, she felt Daniel do the same.

Finding and open glade the two scientists sat on a fallen log. Daniel rested his head on her shoulder and Sam brought her arm around his back. He had been much more physically demonstrative since he'd come back to them Sam had begun to notice. He'd never really been one for physical contact, rarely initiating it and often exhibiting body language that suggested he didn't want to be touched. During his illness, Daniel had often recoiled when touched, complaining of pain and a feeling of being burned whenever anyone came into contact with him.

In that past week however, he had begun to seek it out more and more and, as they sat there, Sam decided to broach the subject.

"I don't really know." Was his first answer, sitting up and cocking his head to the side as he thought about it, "I never received much in the way of physical affection after my parents died. I suppose that was the main factor in me not seeking it out. And it doesn't seem that unusual that a child who went through the same trauma that I did, a child who was forced to take care of himself and rely only on himself at such a young age, would develop a distance between himself and other people that might translate into a distaste for physical intimacy."

Sam nodded agreeing with the psychoanalysis and silently ecstatic that Daniel's mind was able to follow a line of thinking like that.

"I guess…the contact is almost like an…anchor. It's comfort. It's proof that all this is…real."

Sam nodded, deciding to leave it there. What Daniel was implying concerned her a little, but they were still in the early stages of his recovery and considering what he had just gone through, it was understandable.

So Sam let Daniel lower his head back to her shoulder and they sat side by side in the stillness of the forest and let the calm wash over them.

* * *

A/N I went back to Vancouver last month were I'm from and the first day back I went walking in the forest by my mom's house and I couldn't believe how much I missed it. It was so relaxing and peaceful and beautiful. Anyway, that's where this scene came from.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N small warning for one use of the f-word

* * *

Jack was good at avoidance and procrastination. And he knew it. He hated that he knew it and he hated that he was so good at it. It made his stomach roll. Face him with guns and war and certain death and he could not be more efficient, but face him with any kind of emotional turmoil and he turned into a coward.

Which was why, two weeks after that mind-sucking parasite that had unknowingly been holed up in Daniel's noggin had finally been taken care of, Jack was only now coming to see his friend.

Friend. Who was he to think that he was that to Daniel anymore?

He opened the door to the private room they'd given Daniel and found him sitting on the bed in a pair of loose fitting pajamas reading a well-worn paperback.

At the sound of the door opening, Daniel looked up. His glasses had been returned to him and the sight of them perched on his face hit home just how much Jack had missed the guy.

"Hey." He said, aware as he did so how lame it was.

Daniel, it seemed, was aware as well. His expression was guarded as he dog-eared the page he was on and closed the book, setting it on the bedside table.

"Hey yourself." He replied, looking back up.

Jack chewed on his bottom lip and tried to find a comfortable position for his arms. Nothing seemed to be working for him and after about a minute to shuffling his let them fall uselessly to his side.

Daniel watched him patiently the whole time, his face expressionless.

"Do you want to sit down?" he finally asked, indicating the chair beside him with his head.

Jack shrugged and sat down, staring at his clasped hands and trying desperately to think of something, anything to say.

"How you been?" he finally settled on and regretted it the moment it was out of his mouth.

Daniel gave him a look that spoke volumes on what and idiot he thought Jack was before responding.

"Not very good actually. You?"

Jack sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"I'm sorry, that was a stupid question."

They sat in silence for a while longer.

"What do you want Jack?"

Jack looked up.

"What do you mean?'

Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose just like he did every time he had a conversation with Jack.

"I mean, why did you come here?" he said slowly.

Jack floundered for a reason.

"I…I wanted to see how you were doing."

Daniel stared at him once again.

"And you waited this long because…"

Jack rubbed at his forehead again.

"Because…I don't know. Because I hated seeing you that way."

Daniel sat back against the pillows and crossed his arms.

"Hated seeing me how?"

Jack opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Sick?" Daniel offered, "Helpless? Crazy?"

Jack sighed and hung his head in shame. Daniel had once again hit that nail on the head and they both knew it. The silence that followed was deafening.

"Do you know, what I went through?" Daniel asked suddenly.

Jack looked up but said nothing.

"Do you even understand what was wrong with me? What exactly Hebephrenic Schizophrenia is?" He paused and stared at Jack with anger building in his blue eyes, "It's disorganization. It's illogical and confusing. You can't think straight. You can't follow a train of thought because no matter how hard you try to concentrate on it, it slips away from you and another one takes its place and it happens over and over and over again until it feels like you're in a crowded room full of people and there are too many sounds and snippets of conversation to focus on and it gets louder and louder until your brain is pounding from the sheer volume and you feel like you're spinning out of control and your grasp on reality becomes weaker and weaker until your sure you can't hold on to sanity a moment longer."

Daniel paused, his gaze boring into Jack's and Jack found he couldn't look away.

"It becomes a struggle to keep from losing your mind every second and for me, for someone who prizes their intellect above all else…it's hell. That is what I went through for three fucking years. Hell. And one of the few things that kept me from slipping away and losing any semblance of reality was the people who came to visit me. Sam, who would stay through my ranting and my silence, talking to me, keeping me grounded. Teal'c, who would sit with me offering stoic support. Hammond, Feretti, Catherine, hell even Janet who blamed herself came under the guise of checking up on me as a doctor. But never you. I don't remember you coming once after that first day in that god-forsaken white room. Now to be honest, I don't remember most of what happened in the last three years thanks to the unrelenting flow of drugs I was given, so maybe I just missed it. Did I? Did you ever come?"

Jack could hear the pleading in Daniel's voice; the need for Jack to prove him wrong and Jack wanted to prove him wrong. He wanted to lie, but he knew he couldn't.

"No."

Daniel's brow furrowed and his eyes shone with tears and betrayal. His voice came out choked and whispered.

"Why?"

"Because I'm selfish." Jack answered truthfully, "I know it's not an excuse. It's not meant to be an excuse. It's just the truth. After seeing you like that, in that room, after holding your flailing body and letting those bastards inject you with god knows what, I knew I couldn't do it again. Because if I did, I'd go right back to the place I went after Charlie and I knew if I went there…I wouldn't come back this time. Because you wouldn't be there to pull me out. It was a completely selfish reason and I'm not going to deny that but I couldn't watch you disappear."

Daniel nodded, his jaw clenched tight though weather it was from anger of from the effort of not crying, Jack didn't know.

"I don't know if I can forgive you for that."

"I don't expect you too."

* * *

A/N Jack never seems to come across very well in any of my stories. I wonder why?

I do like the guy, don't get me wrong, I just don't think he has any emotional range which is why I feel Daniel is a better mach for Sam.


	12. Chapter 12

Six weeks into his recovery, Janet announced Daniel was well enough to be let out of the infirmary. But she insisted he stay with someone to help him adjust. She suggested Sam and he agreed she would be the best choice. Sam on the other hand, was hesitant. In the Doctor's office, she voiced her concerns.

"I can't do it Janet, I just can't. What if–?"

"Sam, everything going to be alright, what happened last time was a result of the illness. Daniel's better now."

"He may have gotten through the withdrawal but I would not say he's better."

Janet put a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"He trusts you Sam, and that's what he needs right now. Just because something bad happened the last time you took care of him doesn't mean it's going to happen again. And _you_ have start believing that what happened wasn't your fault."

Sam sat down and nodded.

"I know." She said, "But I can't stop seeing it. The blood, the knife. He was relapsing and I _didn't see it_. I just wanted him to be better so badly that I ignored the signs and we almost lost him."

Janet sat down opposite her and took her hands, rubbing a soothing thumb over them.

"The only other option we have is a stay at home nurse and I think that would hinder his recovery even more. He needs to be around people he knows and cares about. And who care about him, and nobody cares for him more than you do." She paused, hesitating before voicing her next thought, "You love him, don't you?"

Sam looked up.

"Yeah. I love him. I've always loved him. I just didn't realize how much until he was nearly taken away from me for good."

…

Daniel was sitting on the edge of his bed wearing casual clothes when Janet came in to go over his medication. She was prescribing him a low dosage anti-depressant and went over the instructions in a clinical tones without looking him in the eye. She prattled on knowing she was masking her feelings with her words, until Daniel's hand lifted her chin and forced her eyes to meet his.

Her voice died away and she felt tears of guilt and shame welling up inside her.

"I'm so sorry Daniel. I'm so, so sorry."

He wiped her tears away with his thumb.

"I know." He said in a tired voice, "Everyone is." He sighed and rubbed his eyes, adjusting his glasses once he was done. "That's all I've been hearing lately. 'I'm sorry' 'how awful' 'we should have done more'." He shook his head, "I know you blame yourself for what happened and I can't deny that I feel let down by everyone. But I'm tired of all the apologies. I'm tired of the pity. I have too much going on in my head that I have to deal with right now, I can't…"

"I understand." Janet said softly as Daniel trailed off, "You just focus on getting better."

Daniel's mouth turned upwards in a small smile and allowed Janet to lead him out the door.

…

A few days passed in quiet co-existence. Summer was slowly transitioning into autumn and Daniel ended up spending most of his time on Sam's back porch, watching the trees explode in a riot of colour. Sometimes Sam would sit with him. She would talk, not expecting him to answer back, occasionally he did but for the most part he just listened. Sam didn't know if any of it was helping, but he never asked her to leave. Sometimes he would even smile and each time he did it sent a warm jolt of happiness through her.

A week after Daniel had come home, Sam went out for some groceries, leaving Daniel home alone.

The house was dark and silent. The metallic jingle of Sam's key's echoed deafeningly in the quiet. Closing the door, she came to a standstill. Cold fear washed through her and settled in an uncomfortable ache in the pit of her stomach. A chill went down her spine as the strongest feeling of Déjà vu she'd ever experienced hit her. Abandoning her groceries on the front mat she tore up the stairs and rounded the corner only to stop dead in her tracks as she looked down the darkened hallway. A thin sliver of light coming from the slightly open bathroom door cut a stark beam of illumination into the unlit hallway.

"No." She whispered to herself as she made her way slowly towards the door, "No, no, no, no, nonononono!"

Her speech and footsteps accelerated as she neared the door and burst into the light.

For a split second her mind was in the past, reliving that horrible day a year ago. Blood oozed slowly across the white tiles from the prone form of…

"Daniel!"

He was sitting with his back against the tub, facing her. His legs were sprawled across the spotless floor as though they had simply given up supporting him. The sleeves of his sweatshirt were pushed up past his elbows and he was gently fingering the thick, waxy scar that ran from his wrist to his elbow all the way up his right forearm.

He looked up at Sam as she tore into the bathroom with such pain and loss in his eyes that she nearly burst into tears. But, taking control of her emotions, she instead lowered herself down to his eye level.

"Daniel?" She asked in a soft comforting tone.

"I hurt you." He said, his tone flat and emotionless. Then suddenly his mouth began to quiver as he fought to control the tears that were threatening to fall.

Sam moved closer and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. He tensed but did not draw away.

"You'd had a nightmare. You weren't yourself."

"You took me in." he said, his voice was small and so full of pain, "You looked after me and I hurt you."

He looked up at her. He had managed to get his emotions under control for the moment but a few stray tears had escaped and were making their way slowly down his cheeks. He wiped them away.

"You were doing so much better." She said, settling herself more comfortably on the cold floor and holding his hands in hers, "You were responding to the medication. You were more lucid and the hallucinations didn't seem to be as severe. The doctors said you could be cared for from home. So you came here. And it was wonderful."

Sam had to stop and swallow as a lump began forming in her throat. She forced herself to continue, "I thought I'd gotten you back. I thought we'd beaten this thing."

"I remember." Daniel said softly his gaze focused on the ground, "I remember you, and I remember not being at that place." His eyes rose to meet hers, "I remember feeling happy and safe."

For a brief moment she could see a ghost of that happiness in his eyes, she could see the light and joy she remembered on his gaze. But it was short lived and soon the grief had dulled it once more.

"But then I hurt you."

"It wasn't your fault." She said tilting his chin up and forcing him to look into her eyes, "You had a nightmare, you were dreaming."

"I wasn't!" he said, pushing her hand from his chin and shaking with barely controlled self-hatred, "I wasn't dreaming. I thought – I thought you'd been…taken." He bowed his head in shame, "I thought you'd been taken as a host. I thought I had no choice."

Sam was stunned by this new information but refused to let it show.

"That's okay Daniel. It still isn't your fault–"

Daniel's angered gaze cut her off abruptly.

"I was going to kill you!" he said angrily, though whether the anger as aimed inwardly or at her she did not know, "I knew what I was doing. I had the knife. You were asleep, helpless. I was going to kill you, and I would have if the neighbors hadn't called the police."

"But everything was fine." She said, laying a comforting hand on his arm. "I explained everything to the cops and gave you a heavier dose of medication. I mean, you were pretty dopey the next day but no one got hurt. At least not until…" She trailed off, not wanting to think about what happened next but knowing she had no other choice.

"I went to get some things for dinner. You were zoned out on the couch; I didn't even think you could hear me. I thought you'd be fine." Her voice broke on that last word she rested her face in her hand, "I though you'd be fine."

It was Daniel's turn to comfort Sam.

"I knew what I'd done. I knew I couldn't let it happen again. I though I was getting better, I thought I could tell the difference. Between what was real and what wasn't; what was reality and what was…a figment of my…mind."

He trailed off, his eyes were wide and unblinking, his gaze clearly directed inwards as his forgotten memories.

"I followed it up here. I was going to kill it. I thought maybe…maybe if I killed it, maybe I would get better. Maybe I'd wake up and this would all be just a dream. I don't remember how the knife got in my hand, I just remember it being there. I had it cornered. I was ready to strike. And then it just…. Disappeared. No warning, it was just gone, and I was alone. But I knew it wasn't really gone. It was still there, I could feel it." His hand moved slowly to his head. He still hadn't blinked, like he was in a trance, "And it was then that I knew it would never go away, that I would never wake from the nightmare, because it wasn't a nightmare. It was real. And then I saw the blade in my hand, like someone had given it to me. I thought maybe _it_ had given it to me. And I thought at least if I died, it would die too. And then it wouldn't be able to hurt you anymore."

He blinked and looked at her.

"I couldn't let it hurt you again."

Sam was crying as she caressed his face.

"You were always my best friend Daniel," She said in a voice little louder than a whisper, "And I loved you so much. But it didn't hit me how much I loved you until I saw you frightened and alone in that white room. I didn't realize how much I needed you until I thought I'd lost you. And when I opened that door and saw you laying here in a pool of blood I thought 'he can't be dead' because then I… I would die too." She broke off as a fresh batch of sobs hijacked her voice.

A soft touch wiped her tears away and she looked up to see Daniel staring lovingly into her eyes.

"At first, when you cured me, I didn't think it was real. I thought it just another trick, another hallucination, another dream. I thought that at any moment I would turn around and they would be there, in the shadows, always in the shadows. Waiting. When I was alone I felt like I was drowning. I didn't trust my senses, I didn't trust my mind. But I never lost hope, because you would always show up and I would remember all the times you came to visit me and talked to me or just sat in silence, showing me what was real. You're my lifeline. You're my connection to sanity and every time I felt like I was slipping away, like I was drowning, you were there to keep me afloat. I love you Sam. And I am so thankful for all you've done because I know that if you hadn't been there for me, time and time again, I would have lost myself a long time ago and I'm not sure I would ever be able to get back."

Sam stroked a hand down his cheek, a days worth of growth scratching her skin. She didn't say anything. She didn't need too. Instead, she leaned forwards and brushed her lips against his, pressing them together and using the contact to express everything else that she wanted to say but couldn't put into words. The love she felt for this man who'd been through hell and back, the fear she'd felt from almost losing him, the shame and guilt that came from knowing it was her fault. And a promise, to be that lifeline for him.

Because he was hers.

And whatever else happened, they'd get through it together.

…

It is astounding how hard it is to end a story well. I hope I did this one justice. And a huge thank you to all my readers, the ones who stuck with this story until the end and the ones who are enjoying it for the first time, it is a privilege to be able to entertain you.

I can't believe it's over.


End file.
